There are many pros and cons to online dating sites and apps. If you’ve read some of my previous blogs, you understand the risks of online dating and precautions that need to be taken if you choose to enter this world. Those are some of the cons. But the pros?
Online dating helps you move forward from a broken heart very quickly!
My boyfriend and I broke up back in February. I was so sad. It broke my heart and I began to go down a dangerous path of self-doubt. Would I ever find someone that was as compatible as we were? Was I attractive? Would others desire me? This lasted about a week. I re-read my ghosting guide and this completely put me on the right track. It made me realize that there were probably hundreds of men in the world for me that would be a good match on multiple levels. I made the decision to re-up the memberships I previously had on Match, Tinder and Bumble. The great thing about jumping on all these sites at once, it gave me something to focus on other than my broken heart. It also made me feel confident that I was a catch and that there were many options out there. The amount of emails, winks and likes I received was crazy. It was even overwhelming for a while, but put a band-aid on my broken heart.
Finding dates online exposes you to many different people at once. In the sea of people, there is bound to be at least one that stands out and gives you something to look forward to.
About a week after being online, post break-up, I connected with someone on Tinder that caught my attention. We met for a glass of wine and appetizers. He looked even more handsome than his pictures, with bright blue eyes and a witty personality. He was tall, classy and well dressed. He mentioned that my pictures were great, but I looked even better in person. Suffice it to say, there was mutual attraction. He was the first person that I felt a “click” with from a chemistry, dimension and harmony perspective since my ex-boyfriend. He grew up in the northeast and moved out west like I had. We live in different states, but we both travel to each other’s towns for business. At this point, I wasn’t looking to jump back into a relationship, but I was happy to find someone that I really wanted to see again.
With so many online dating apps available, you can cast a wider net and put people in your dating world that you normally would never meet. This allows you to have higher standards (with quantity comes the ability to be choosey), to be less focused on a serious relationship and makes you more desirable.
Aside from the occasional insecure person that is looking to jump into a relationship with the first person they meet, most people enjoy someone that is less accessible and appears to have options. While I was on three different online dating sites/apps, I didn’t let myself have too high of expectations with any of the people I met and just went in with the attitude that we would have a good first date. Some of the online dates resulted in second dates. The majority of the first dates could have led to second, but I chose to pass. My casual attitude made people more interested in seeing me again.
Online dating allows you to narrow down your options, if you choose, and make an informed decision, after having met so many new people, about what you really want at this point in your life
Here we are, more than five months post-breakup. I recently made the decision to hide my profile on all the sites, because I am now in a place where my confidence is back 100 percent, and I don’t need the affirmation of multiple people. Right now, out-of-town-guy, who was referenced two paragraphs ago, and I are still seeing each other. It’s not every day or every week, but more like every three to five weeks. We laugh, talk, have awesome chemistry and recently became intimate. I like the fact that our relationship is so enjoyable while we are together, without the pressure of a commitment. I’m not ready to jump into a relationship and it doesn’t appear he is either, so we have pressure-free time together. There are other people I met online that have become friends that I speak with and see on a regular basis, more platonically. The bottom line is, the online dating sites/apps exposed me to a lot of great people that are still a part of my life. I’m not sure where the relationship with the long-distance guy is headed, and that’s totally fine! At this point, I’m happy with what we have. The day may come when I’m looking for something more serious, and if he is not in the same place, then it will have to end. The potential end to a relationship doesn’t scare me anymore because I know I could jump on any of the dating sites/apps and be talking to potential matches the next day. Hopefully that doesn’t sound callous, but if we are being really honest here, the greatest benefit to online dating sites/apps, is you realize the abundance that exists in the world for a relationship that matches exactly what you’re seeking.