Online dating is a great way to get over a broken heart, and my experience is proof of it. Immediately after breaking up with my boyfriend, I jumped on Tinder, Match and Bumble. In a short time, I met many men who were successful, handsome, fun and dying to date me. It was such a nice change after the rejection from my breakup. The confidence I had gained from all the attention from online dating gave me a swagger that grabbed other suitors’ attention. I had random men walking up to me and initiating conversation. It was so nice to feel wanted and attractive.
This has been especially important for me because, prior to our breakup, there was a pulling away that slowly occurred. It was painful and made me think there were things about me that were pushing him away. I know now the reality was he just wasn’t in the right place for a relationship, even though it was his initial push to have a relationship with me.
After six months of very little communication with my ex and meeting so many different types of men, I finally felt like I was OK. I would be lying if I said there weren’t occasional Facebook check-ins to see if he was dating anyone, but at least that sad feeling in the pit of my stomach was gone. So, when I needed someone with his expertise in refinancing to help me determine if it made sense to re-fi my house, I reached out. He is a trustworthy person, and I felt comfortable reaching out to him for something like this. Plus, he had randomly reached out to me over the past six months for questions, as well. So, I did what I swore I never would do and sent him a text to set up a face-to-face meeting to discuss my questions about the refi.
We met for ice tea at a restaurant. It was strange to see him after a six-month gap, but we had a very comfortable conversation. As we chatted, it became apparent that he was a little nervous. He threw out some compliments and said that he was happy to see me, and he had missed seeing me. He also said that he was still focusing on fixing his emotions, going to counseling, and that all his dates had been very casual with no second dates. He brought up the dating experiences he’d had recently and how he realizes that what we had was so rare and that normally people do not connect on so many levels as we had.
Based on this feedback, I suggested that we at least try to be friends. This seemed like the mature direction to go. I was not ready to jump back into a relationship with him, plus my newly found freedom and bevy of dates was the best place for me at this moment. His response was child-like: “Well, I am afraid if we did that, it would be leading you on.”
That comment stopped me dead in my tracks. It made me realize that at this moment in time, he is completely wrong for me. I want a man who takes charge, protects the woman, and makes her feel valued and appreciated. His lack of self-awareness and inability to realize I did not need him as anything more than a friend turned me off.
Thank goodness for the examples of strong confident men I had met from online dating, otherwise this interaction may have put me back into the heartbreak mode. I cannot stress enough how fantastic it is to be over someone who hurt you so much, to then meet with them in person and feel relieved that you did not end up with the wrong person.
I have my online dating experiences to thank for this movement forward. It has been a great way to get over a broken heart.