Now that you have made the plunge into the world of online dating and apps, let’s talk about the ideal first “in-person” date. There are many potential outcomes for the initial first in-person date and most of time, it is not, “we both thought the other person looked better than their profile pictures and there was a mutual connection, which will definitely lead to a second date.” Typically, there is no connection, or the person looks nothing like their pictures, or the person looks like their pictures yet has no personality, or they have hygiene issues, or any other thing you can imagine that would turn you off from a person. You get the point.

First in-person date musts

The odds of a second date happening are low, which is why I recommend these specifics for the first in-person meeting:

Meet the person in a public place, do not allow someone to pick you up and do not accept requests to pick them up. (This is a safety recommendation as much as it is a way to give yourself an out if things are that bad.)
The location should be a place that isn’t crowded. You want to have the ability to hear each other.
Choose a time where you both have somewhere to be in 45 minutes. This creates a hard stop to the date and mitigates the risk of the awkward silence or abrupt end to the date.
The best types of places to meet are inexpensive breakfast joints, coffee, and happy hour at a restaurant.

First in-person date DO NOTS

The following are examples of activities that are sure to make your first in-person date a potential disaster:

Dinner can take up to three hours and is more expensive than coffee or appetizers. Guys, this is even more important for you since the bill for the date will be paid by you. Ladies, do you really want to be stuck with someone you don’t like for three hours? Save the dinner date for date number two.
Hiking is a popular hobby in online dating profiles. I also like to hike; however, having the first date be a hiking date is a bad decision for a few reasons. First, you are going to a remote place that may be unsafe. Secondly, you’re in for at least two to three hours, again, with someone you might not have a connection with. Third, you are not at your best while you’re hiking. Do you really want someone’s first impression of you be you sweating, snorting and panting up a trail? Lastly, it is not a good way to have a conversation. Save the hiking date for number four or five, where you have both seen each other at least a few times fully showered and fresh.
Movies don’t allow interaction. During a movie, you are unable to talk and get to know someone, and you need to sit uncomfortably close to someone you just met. Again, not always a good outcome.

Choosing the right location for a first date could make or break the relationship. You always want to show up as your best self: treat your first in-person date like a job interview. In other words, shower, shave, put on makeup if you wear it and have a huge smile on your face. Be gracious, kind and positive no matter how much the person has misrepresented themselves. If you follow these tips, you’ll have somewhere to be in 45 minutes, the date will end soon anyway. 😊