Online dating comes with some expectations and exceptions. To be a good online dater, keep these things in mind.

Not responding sends a message

For online dating sites like Match, where there is no pre-qualification of mutual interest for communication to occur, do not feel obligated to respond to every message, wink or picture “like” you receive. Most people follow the online dating rule of no response = no interest. So don’t feel bad about deleting the message from the person that is completely not your type.

On the flip side, if you reach out to someone and they simply don’t respond, don’t be that person who reaches out, wanting to know why you didn’t reply or why you think you were worthy of a reply. Unfortunately, there are people who will ask. Rather than sending a cruel message explaining all the ways they are not a match, I tend to just block those people.

Aim for an in-person meeting first

This might be considered a best practice. Avoid the exchange of cell phone numbers until you meet in person. I have countless stories of men and women who do the texting/phone call thing for weeks before meeting the other person, with negative results:

There is no attraction once the couple meets in person, and they wasted time and got their hopes up through numerous phone calls and texts. It's a big disappointment moment.
You never meet the other person at all. I put this sort of activity in the same category as the people who don’t post pictures. They are just looking for some fun flirty text banter or phone calls, but are likely already in a relationship with someone else. They have no intention of ever meeting you in person, in spite of acting like they are trying to eventually meet. (Oops, sorry, have to cancel our date again…) You get the gist.
The person is completely not who they advertise they are. One of my guy friends shared a story where the woman had been impersonating her best friend because she was afraid no guy would want to date her. The woman was actually attractive, but you can imagine my friend’s disappointment and concern that someone would be so misleading. They had many phone calls and texts so he felt comfortable making their first face-to-face meeting a dinner date. Needless to say, it was a very uncomfortable moment for both of them. I mean, really, what did she expect?

Why do you have to know everything about the other person before meeting them, anyway? Make the phone number something each person must earn. Don’t make it too easy.

Keep first in-person short and sweet

Because this is a frequent occurrence with online dating, the first face-to-face meeting should be casual and in a public place where you each only have 30-45 minutes to meet. This avoids having to spend an entire dinner with someone who misrepresented themselves. This is especially important for men, since they are typically the ones paying for these initial dates. Save yourself some time and money and meet for a quick breakfast or coffee before work.

Great online dating profiles

Want to learn how to set up your online dating profile? Download my "4 Tips for Creating a Great Online Dating Profile."