Let’s face it, many of us dating expect perfection. That's perfection from ourselves and perfection in our partner. And, there’s nothing wrong with striving for excellence, becoming your best self, or having standards. But, what if inflexible perfection requirements keep us from a joyful, connection-filled relationship with a companion and ourselves?

Those of us who are perfectionists are afraid of criticism, and we think being perfect means no one can judge us. But, that's not true, and it keeps us from deeply connecting to one another, the thing we want most.

If we allow ourselves some grace, to be human and to be seen — and, stop the hamster wheel of perfectionism thoughts and actions — we can find freedom and fun in the dating experience. We can get to know each other on a real level.

Notice when perfectionist thoughts creep up. Choose to be compassionate to yourself in those moments. Decide to respond differently.

I’m not saying it’s easy to let go, but I’m saying it’s worth it. The energy once spent chasing the illusion of perfection now allows you to pursue what truly makes you happy. And, who doesn’t want to live blissfully?

I offer this advice because I have had to follow it myself! Part of my own understanding of perfectionist pursuits comes from my experience with ghosting and being ghosted in a relationship. My guide to moving on after being ghosted is fully of information that is useful going through a regular break up, too. You can learn more about it here.

What kind of experiences have you had with perfectionism and dating?